Best Way To Finance A Ring – One study found that men who spent less than $500 or more than $2,000 had higher divorce rates than men who spent anywhere between them.PeopleImages / Getty Images
A few months before our engagement, my fiancé, Patrick, asked me what kind of rings I liked. I knew why he was asking, so I rebuffed him and sent him a detailed, terribly unromantic email describing my dream wedding ring (with links to sites), then daring him to “don’t spend a lot”; If you do I will say no.
Best Way To Finance A Ring
Of course I was joking, but not about my desire for him to stick to a reasonable budget, since we were more or less living paycheck to paycheck at the time.
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Patrick spent a little more than I would have liked, but it wasn’t outrageous, and the ring was exactly what I would have picked out myself (probably because it came from the links I sent him). Three years later, when we were finally about to walk down the aisle, I stumbled upon a study that made me wonder if being financially savvy about our engagement ring (and now our wedding) would not only help our bank accounts, but also help us. Marriage at last..
The study was conducted by Andrew Francis-Tan, visiting assistant professor at the Lee Kuan Yew School of Public Policy at the National University of Singapore, and Hugo M. Millan, associate professor and graduate director of the Department of Economics at Emory University. , using survey data from more than 3,000 married couples in the United States, examined the relationship between wedding expenses and marriage duration. The aim of the study was to find out if spending money on rings and weddings (as we often do, often to our own regret) affects the longevity of a marriage.
“Advertising in the wedding industry is that spending a lot of money on an engagement ring and wedding is a sign of commitment or a successful marriage,” Mialon says. “However, the overall message is that wedding expenditure and marriage duration are positively related.”
In their study, Francis-Tenn and Mialon found that men who spent between $2,000 and $4,000 on an engagement ring had a higher divorce rate (about 1.3 times) than men who spent between $500 and $2,000.
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Men who spent $2,000 to $4,000 on an engagement ring had a higher divorce rate than men who spent $500 to $2,000.
But the pendulum swings in the other direction as well. A sample of women surveyed found that spending less than $500 on an engagement ring was associated with higher divorce rates.
This information might lead one to assume that the best way to spend between $500 and $2,000 on a ring is to reduce the risk of divorce, but that’s not the best way to look at this analysis, Tan-Francis says, proving that “no” high wedding ring and wedding ceremony costs lead to divorce. Higher wedding ring and wedding ceremony expenses were positively associated with divorce, holding constant demographic and relationship characteristics, including income.”
This research suggests that “forever” diamonds and extravagant weddings won’t improve your chances of staying together and may even hurt them in a way. Why? Maybe it’s because you’re not focused on building a lasting union, but rather on celebrating its beginnings and perhaps digging yourself into debt in the process.
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“What could explain the observed negative relationship between wedding expenses and marriage duration? Perhaps couples who have extravagant weddings are simply couples who are not compatible with each other,” says Mielone. “On the other hand, an expensive wedding is also likely to strain couples financially (depending on their income) in a way that may later damage their marriage. In this paper, we present some evidence that those who spent a lot on their wedding are more likely to report that debt from wedding expenses caused stress on their marriage, and a significant There is literature in both economics and sociology linking financial stress and marital dissolution.”
“The more complicated the event, the more opportunities there are to fight over money and who pays for what,” says Tracy Brisson, wedding officiant and owner of Savannah Custom Weddings & Elopements. “That resentment can seep into the marriage.”
A statement engagement ring was never something I aspired to, but the first time I shared it on social media I found myself perfecting Instagram filters to make my ring shine even more. When I showed her the ring in person, I said how much I love simple vintage styles and how much I don’t like flashy trinkets. It was like I was protecting my ring from those who silently thought I was “not good enough.” I didn’t understand why I was acting like this when I knew the ring was exactly what I wanted and it was cheap. What was my problem? Well, it had little to do with the ring.
“I think when each of us gets engaged, we take a painful look inward and realize our childhood fantasies about the fairy tale that happens when we find ‘the one,'” Dr. Fran Wallfisch says. “Finding one is a legitimate disappointment. It’s not that we’re ‘settled’, we reach a point where we have to decide what’s the priority and realize that we can’t get everything we want from a partner.
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If I had been given a more decadent ring and had a lavish wedding right away (instead of waiting like we planned a little thing), I would have been more distracted from what I really needed to focus on: a strong and compelling healthy partnership.
“Spending and focusing on the physical can distract from other relationship issues, and planning a wedding/engagement takes a lot of time and energy, which can be distracting for couples who don’t have a strong foundation or you have serious concerns about relationships,” says licensed marriage and family therapist Christy Charhutian.
“Often planning a wedding, especially an overwhelming task, can seem like a full-time job, keeping the couple busy focusing on guests, photos, luxury, or focusing on what makes them happy. Couples take the crucial time they need to prepare for marriage and ask the necessary questions that show they want to spend the rest of their lives with each other,” she adds. “Many couples I see in therapy choose pre-engagement counseling [so] whether they decide to wear a wedding ring or not, they ask each other all the right questions, deal with their doubts, and enjoy the season, without using material aspects to cloud their judgment or distract from what the true meaning and purpose of marriage is. Rather than a lavish lifestyle, a relationship built on invisible intimacy is far more likely to not only last, but develop into a loving partnership that lasts a lifetime.
Want more tips like this? NBC News BETTER is passionate about finding simpler, healthier and better ways to live. Subscribe to our newsletter and follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Terry Pause is Editor-in-Chief of Apartment Therapy Media. Previously, she was a web producer, social media editor and writer.
Which Finger Is The Wedding Ring Finger?
It’s the most important piece of jewelry you own, so you want to get it right when it comes to wedding ring etiquette. There is no shortage of important wedding ring details to consider when getting engaged, from choosing who will make the ring to how much to spend. On the rare occasion that you don’t like your ring, how do you cool it?
Ahead, we’ve got answers to all your wedding ring etiquette questions to make this exciting process less stressful.
No doubt. In fact, 62 percent of couples now go shopping for engagement rings together. If you don’t feel comfortable doing this, be sure to communicate those feelings to your S.O. Tell them you don’t want to go shopping together because you think it’s more romantic to surprise them. Then show your mom, sister, and/or your best friend a few photos of the rings you love and ask them to share some recommendations.
Of course! You want someone who already knows your style to be with them and guide them to rings you like and rings you don’t. Feel free to be as specific as possible
